Beach BBQ [Open]

[asharpertongue]

Levi's idea for a beach party had been a good one. After the past few weeks they both needed to blow off a little steam and Lara had taken to the idea like the proverbial siren to water, inviting all her employees and friends. Levi had put the word out at the police station and among his closer friends so between them a decent crowd was forming.

The tables lining the beach were piled high with food and drink, a DJ was already in full swing and people were drifting over to the large bonfire for warmth as the chill started to cut through the summer evening. A few of the Heart of Gold employees had brought their kids along for the festivities and a friend of Lara's was performing little glamours and tricks to keep them entertained. Large clusters of huge pillows were dotted about the beach just a little way from Levi's house and lanterns and firelight bathed the whole area in a warm glow.

Maybe Lara had taken it a little far but she liked to treat her friends and everyone could use a little R&R.

OOC: Levi and Lara's friends have been officially invited, but everyone else feel free to wander in at your leisure~.

Comments

[starsfallen]

Corrine feels a wave of guilt for not remembering Spencer or his family. As a kid she thought she knew everyone and anyone in Siren Cove, but it was really just the old families, those her mother liked to gossip about, those whose stories were ripe for turning into plays. But she does remember a woman with two little boys, who eagerly watched her shows summer after summer. Warm smile and applause. Corry always thought she was a seasonal tourist, but maybe they just never met more formally. "Yeah... I think I might remember her, actually. You have a brother, right?"

When Spencer mentions Raleigh living with him, Corrine stops breathing. Her very self seizes up for a moment. Another mirror, she and Emily. Both so reliant on the company of friends now. But she's not alone. At least she's not alone now. Corry squeezes the cookie in her hand with just enough force to keep it from crumbling. Sees the girl descend into tears when they met again. The way it broke both of them. As much as it was reassurance. But Emily had been so sure she was alone, that she wouldn't be missed. At least she has someone now. Corrine hopes Spencer doesn't notice the tear before she can wipe it from her cheek.

"I'm - I'm glad. That you're there for her. She - she's doing okay?" Corrine knows she's not. Neither of them are, not yet, even if they're getting there. Emily admitted as such. But it's the right thing to ask.

[doublethepain]

"Had," he corrects softly, lowering his eyes. "Had a brother. They were both killed a couple years ago." A fresh wave of pain courses through him just as it always does when he speaks the words aloud, not that he blame Corinne for that. He's eager to change the subject, though, so he latches on to the discussion of Raleigh as a starting point.

"She's..." He trails off, unsure of how to answer, of how much information is too much between the nightmares and the panic attacks. "She's doing as well as can be expected, I suppose." He pauses, flexing the fingers on his left hand before shoving it in his pocket and trying to be subtle about the way he takes in a deep breath. "About a month ago, I-- Something happened to me, something similar to what-- what you both went through." He lets out humorless laugh, shaking his head because it still feels so unreal that it could have happened to him after everything he'd already been through with the loss of his mother and brother.

"I was kidnapped, too. Different circumstances, of course, but he attacked me in my home." He brings his free hand up to absently rub at his temple where Mark had smashed the glass against his face and flinches. "He broke three of my fingers." His hand travels down so his fingertips brush against his throat as the far too vivid memory of Mark wrapping his hand around Spencer's throat replays in his mind. He lets his hand fall back to his side before he wets his lips and glances up at Corinne. "He would have killed me if my boyfriend hadn't-- Anyway, the point is, she needed to know she's not alone. I'm sure you know that you're not, either. Nightmares, panic attacks, flashbacks, I have them all but it gets easier. It gets better but not when you're alone."

[starsfallen]

It's shocking. His candid honesty, with one who is practically a stranger. That someone seemingly so kind in their interactions could have experienced such horrors too. Corrine needs his words. She needed to talk to someone and Emily was too much, too painful.

"God, life is a bastard." A lump rises in her throat. Her voice cracks. But she doesn't fight the tears this time. He can understand.

"I - at first all I did was sleep. And then - I'd toss and turn from nightmares and wake up tangled in my sheets screaming, because I thought - I thought I was chained and trapped all over again. I couldn't even leave my house until a few days ago. I..." She can barely get the next word out. Only Lara and Les know, and she never actually told Les, he knew. "...I started drinking again." Corrine hugs her arms around herself. Staring at the dark sand and water flowing around her feet. "...Does it get better." She practically whispers now, but brings herself to look at him, messy tears and all. Eyes wide and grateful. "Thank you."

[doublethepain]

He remembers breaking down in Joel's arms in the lighthouse, how he'd just needed to let it out because he'd tried so hard to be strong. Mark had knocked him unconscious in his own home library, and he hasn't stepped foot in the room he'd once felt safest in for so long now that it makes his chest ache every time he walks past it to get to the stairs.

"He hit me, broke a glass against my head to knock me out," he tells her as he pulls a handkerchief from his back pocket, offering it out for her to take. "Sometimes I still think I hear it, the way it shattered. Sometimes I still see his face when I close my eyes and it's so vivid. I can see his smile, the lines on his face, the look in his eyes."

He wishes he could be the kind of person who finds it easy to reach out and touch people but then he remembers how claustrophobic he'd felt every time someone who wasn't Joel had tried to a lay a comforting hand on his shoulder and thinks better of it. He's only talked about what had happened at the lighthouse with a select few, but he's telling Corrine now for a reason. He remembers being terrified that he'd have to go through the aftermath alone until Joel had suddenly been there, until Joel had decided not to leave. He doesn't know Corrine well, doesn't know who she leans on if anyone at all, but he understands how important it is to know that feeling the way they feel is okay.

"One step at a time," he tells her with a slight but firm nod. If Corrine has just admitted falling off the wagon like he suspects, his heart aches for her and he bites his lip before taking a careful step closer to her. "Life can be a bastard, just like you said. Sometimes it knocks us down but it's up to us to get back up and that's when we fight back harder."

[starsfallen]

Corrine rocks on her feet, sniffling, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. Not trying to put herself together because she's been given a safe place to fall apart. She wants to give Spencer all the ice cream in the world.

"So it happens? It sneaks up like that? I -" She swallows hard. "When I relapsed. It was because I saw an old man on the beach and he looked like Joseph and I just- snapped. Her voice cracks once more. A new set of tears fall. "What if I - what if I can never just be okay around the hypothetical nice elderly man fishing on the pier who waves hello?"

She shifts closer, just a smidge, just wanting to feel his presence keeping her upright. "I'm sorry it happened to you. Sorry it happened to me. No one deserves this." And then Corrine lets out a short laugh. "Don't let anyone know I said that. Life being a bastard. Totally goes against Corrine Flynn's persona."

[doublethepain]

"It sneaks up like that," Spencer confirms, and he hates that he knows this. He hates that he has friends who know this, hates that life can be so cruel, hates that this lovely woman next to him is crying and he can't do much of anything to make her feel better. "I think-- Well, I have to believe that it gets easier. I was attacked at home, in my library, and I haven't been in there since it happened."

It had been the only place he'd felt truly safe after finding his mother in the backyard, body cold and eyes vacant, and he shivers when he's hit with another blast of the ocean breeze. "We're allowed to feel defeated," he tells her, nodding as if he's trying to convince himself of that very thing. "We're allowed to stumble on our way to recovery, nobody's meant to withstand this much pain and still be expected to carry on like nothing's happened."

He's woken up shaking in Joel's arms more than once, and he expects he'll do it again.

"I don't know how long it takes before it stops. I don't know if it'll ever stop." He lifts his shoulders in a shrug and sighs. "What helps me is knowing I have help. If you-- I know we don't know each other well but sometimes it's nice to know there's someone out there who understands."

[starsfallen]

Corrine nods. His offer of support is more than she can express. There are some things... however much Les is there for her. Or Lara. There are some dark places she never wants them to know. That they're better off never getting a glimpse of. Maybe one day she and Emily can find solace in one another, but for now, at least there's someone else who understands.

She digs her toes deeper into the sand. "Its such a farce. That saying that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger." She finds a piece of driftwood and picks it up, turning it in her hands. Finding a focal point for her words. "Sure, maybe our defenses are stronger. But that doesn't change the cracks at our foundation that threaten to break at any moment - with one wrong step or a heavy gust of wind." It sounds like a line in a movie. Sometimes she isn't sure where actress Corrine ends and real Corrine begins. But actress Corrine would never let herself be seen so vulnerable. That's what all the booze and pills were for.

She tosses the stick into the sea, watches as it falls beneath the dark waves. Turns to Spencer with a small smile. "Come on. I bet they have ice cream back up at the party."