asharpertongue | Beach BBQ [Open]

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Beach BBQ [Open]

Levi's idea for a beach party had been a good one. After the past few weeks they both needed to blow off a little steam and Lara had taken to the idea like the proverbial siren to water, inviting all her employees and friends. Levi had put the word out at the police station and among his closer friends so between them a decent crowd was forming.

The tables lining the beach were piled high with food and drink, a DJ was already in full swing and people were drifting over to the large bonfire for warmth as the chill started to cut through the summer evening. A few of the Heart of Gold employees had brought their kids along for the festivities and a friend of Lara's was performing little glamours and tricks to keep them entertained. Large clusters of huge pillows were dotted about the beach just a little way from Levi's house and lanterns and firelight bathed the whole area in a warm glow.

Maybe Lara had taken it a little far but she liked to treat her friends and everyone could use a little R&R.

OOC: Levi and Lara's friends have been officially invited, but everyone else feel free to wander in at your leisure~.

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As always, having Joel talk him through this puts Spencer more at ease. He feels the tension in his shoulders wash a little more away with every wave that moves them, and he buries his face in the crook of Joel's neck without being able to hold back his grin at the thought of Joel as a lifeguard. He imagines the hustle and bustle of children running poolside when they're meant to only walk; having to overhear complaints and gossip and all sorts of things that are much better kept away from such a public setting; the occasional and inevitable sunburn that must have come with the job, and he can't help but laugh, though it's not out of mockery. As utterly incapable as Spencer would be at holding that particular job, he imagines Joel would have been quite good at it if the need for any actual guarding of lives had ever arisen.

"I know you won't," he answers, relaxing a bit more as he feels the panic dulling in his chest and starts to kick under water with less force, less resistance. "I'm sure you were an excellent lifeguard, I'd have trusted you to save me without question. I do now, anyway."

Joel is always there, after all, to pick Spencer up when he falls, no matter what the circumstances. It's only Joel who can truly lift him to a better place, a better mood that's more than just a small smile, and it's only Joel who understands better than anyone what it's like to be alone for so long that it becomes difficult to accept that there's anyone willing to be there. Spencer's accepted it, that Joel doesn't just feel obligated to be with him, to protect him because Spencer can't protect himself; Joel wants to do these things, and he wishes he could find a way to repay that.

He realizes then that he's been treading water for a full minute without complaint or any sudden bouts of terror of drowning and his eyes brighten as he pulls back to look at Joel. "I'm getting better," he says, nodding down toward the water, and he experimentally lets one hand free of holding onto Joel only to find himself slipping through Joel's arms and nearly underwater. His boyfriend wastes no time in hauling him back up before Spencer can swallow any water and he wraps his legs around Joel's waist because it seems secure enough to him.

He groans, rolling his eyes at himself as his cheeks turn a few shades darker. "We're not every very far out," he complains, looking back toward the shore. "Perhaps the ocean and I just aren't meant to be."

"Well, I'm not being a very good teacher right now either," Joel admits and he has to suck his lower lip between his teeth, biting down on it a little harder than he normally does the second Spencer's legs are suddenly around his waist. He can feel his erection brushing against the back of Spencer's thigh and though he keeps his grip tight, he lets his hands roam down, sliding over Spencer's back and over the curve of his ass, hitching him a little higher. "The trick is to expend as little energy as possible." His legs are bent at the knee, his thighs parallel to the top of the water as he does a slow egg-beater kick, keeping their heads above the water easily and without much effort. It leaves his hands free, too, which he's extremely grateful for as his fingers slide over Spencer's ass, a light, teasing brush more than anything. But it's as much a tease to himself as it is to Spencer and he wants to be touching him more than this, he wants to be exploring him with his hands and his mouth and his fingers become a little more insistent, one pressing against Spencer gently before he pulls back again with a grin.

"I'll tread water for now," he murmurs, his voice low and hoarse as he ducks his head and traces the tip of up tongue up toward Spencer's ear. "You can just hang onto me." He's going to get distracted soon enough, he knows that, he's going to need to take them further in so he can either touch the sand under their feet or drag Spencer right back onto the beach and into the little semi-circle of rocks. He wishes he'd thought to bring a towel or a blanket or anything so he could lay Spencer down on the beach without thought, but this hadn't been his plan tonight.

He should know by now, Spencer distracts him from any and all plans he might have made, and he's never been happier to not be entirely sure where his evenings might lead. He's just as likely now to end up curled up on a couch with a book in his hand and Spencer's feet propped up in his lap as he is falling into bed with Spencer, beyond needy, beyond desperate, his hands searching for smooth, warm skin. Most of the time it feels as thought his life has both been turned completely upside down and not changed at all and he has no idea how Spencer has managed such a thing, but he loves every moment of it. He's never felt so normal and so different all at once.

His hips roll a little, his erection pressing harder against the underside of Spencer's thigh and he lets out a little gasp, the cool water lapping at his back and shoulders. "I'll really teach you one day," he promises, leaning in to press little kisses against Spencer's jaw and then his cheek. "You'll have to wear swimming trunks then, though, or I'll never get anywhere with lessons."

"I don't know, you seem to be doing just fine to me," Spencer counters before grazing his teeth over Joel's shoulder and tracing a light line with his tongue over his collarbone. He is learning, after all, though not quite in the way Joel had intended. It's a slightly more important lesson, he thinks, the one that's helped him discover a side of himself he's never even thought to have tap into before. It's the one that had encouraged him to keep talking the other day in the car and to take his clothes off on a public beach so that he could feel the waves around him while clinging to his boyfriend. It's a lesson he's been learning since he'd asked Joel not to leave him, and he keeps adding to his bank of knowledge of how to be a boyfriend every single day. Sometimes he doesn't know if he's doing it right, sometimes he feels like there's a pop quiz and there's a chance he'll fail, but the most important discovery he's made is that Joel will always be there to catch him if he falls.

Even now, in the still shallow waters, Joel is all that keep him above water and Spencer doesn't have to worry about him letting go. He's distracted already by the feel of Joel's length pressing against his thigh and Joel's gasp is followed by one of his own because his own arousal keeps brushing against his boyfriend's stomach and between that and Joel's fingers teasing his ass the way they are, Spencer isn't sure how much longer he's going to be able to last before he's reduced to begging.

"Sometimes you have to stray from the lesson plan. But you can teach me a new one," he murmurs, leaning into the kisses and letting his fingers dig a little deeper into Joel's back before leaning back just enough to watch Joel's face as reaches behind himself to take hold of his boyfriend's cock. He can't hold back the shiver that pulses through him as he gives one long, slow stroke and he so desperately wants Joel to enter him right now, to be having sex with him in the ocean or on the shore or anywhere, really. There's nobody else he could be doing this with, another thing he'd learned, though it had been early on in their relationship.

There's nobody else who could know so quickly and so easily just how to touch him. Joel had said that they just work by way of explanation and it's true, there's really no simpler way to describe it. Joel's that missing piece of a puzzle that had been otherwise incomplete, even if Spencer hadn't realized it; and as he starts to steadily pump Joel's cock through his fist, amazed at how utterly light everything feels when he's doing it underwater, he smiles softly even though his pupils are already nearly blown and his own erection is desperate for some friction. "Forget the swimming trunks, I think I'd much rather believe that this is what swimming is really like."

Any retort Joel might have had disappears as Spencer begins to stroke him in earnest and his mouth falls open, his eyes fluttering shut and for a second he almost forgets to continue kicking. They dip a little in the water, though he doesn't let them go under and his hand still, simply holding Spencer close to him for a moment. Then, with one arm still tight around Spencer, he uses the other to propel them through the water, a little closer to shore, because he needs the stability of standing and when he feels the sand brushing against his feet, he plants them, hitching Spencer closer as best he can, dragging him in for a deep kiss as both his hands return to smoothing and exploring everywhere he can reach. His hand bumps against Spencer's, his fist still moving over his cock and Joel runs his hand down Spencer's thigh, arching his back so he can feel Spencer's erection trapped between them and he presses his body forward, grinding against him.

It's so difficult, sometimes, not to just let himself get completely caught up in the way Spencer makes him feel, but for everything Spencer does for him, he wants to do in return and a second later he realizes his hand as all but stilled against Spencer's skin. "This is what swimming is really like," he finally manages to say and one finger circles against Spencer's ass, still teasing, knowing water is different, it's not the same as lube, he needs to be careful. The last thing he wants is to hurt him, but at the same time he feels desperate already. He wants to be inside Spencer and he's never felt a need this bad for any other person. He's never so badly wanted to be connected, wanted to please someone the way he does with Spencer.

"But only for us," he manages to add, his voice low and hoarse as he very carefully presses his finger inside Spencer and he groans almost as soon as the words are out. Spencer's body is so warm and the water around them is still cool, causing him to shiver, causing goosebumps to break out across his arms and shoulders and he ducks his head, his teeth grazing the outer edge of Spencer's ear and he's already breathing harder, his heart beating loud against his chest.

Never in his life has he been so deeply attracted to a person and he knows it's more than just the physical. Spencer is by far the most beautiful person he's ever seen, he has the most incredible smile and Joel finds himself sometimes fantasizing about simply trailing his fingers along the edge of his perfect jaw. But it's more than that, it's the knowledge of what they've been through together, the things they've seen in each other and neither of them has run. It's the way Spencer seems to have hundreds of thousands of facts stored inside his head, the way he finds exactly the right literary quote to describe everything Joel wants to say, almost as if he can read his mind. No one has ever known him the way Spencer does and it's that knowledge that drives Joel to please him in every possible way he can.

His hand twists, his finger moving inside of Spencer, and he moans softly against his ear. "Spencer... god..." He doesn't now what else to say, he never knows what else to say, and he's always been terrible with expressing himself, but he thinks, in this case, it's more than enough.

He's quietly grateful for the stability of Joel's feet touching the sand, even though he's rationally aware that it isn't as if his own boyfriend would let him drown even if they'd floated out further into the sea. Those worrisome thoughts don't last long, though, not when Joel is pushing a finger into him and Spencer lets out a low, guttural moan as he tries to relax against the touch. It's not the same without the lube, not that this isn't something he'd already expected, but it's not unwelcome because he knows how good Joel can make him feel. It takes longer for him to adjust than usual, if only because being in the water is making him tense up, and when Joel slides his finger in past his knuckle, Spencer is already breathing hard as he clings to Joel as best as he can.

"Joel." It comes out as more of a whisper than anything else, and he knows he doesn't actually have to say anything because there's nothing that could describe this, the way Joel's finger twists and curves and moves inside him, and when he feels a second finger join in, he digs his fingernails into Joel's back with a hiss before crying out. "Oh, god, just-- don't stop, please, don't stop." His grip on Joel's length hasn't loosened and he rubs his thumb gingerly over the head of his boyfriend's cock as he grazes his teeth over Joel's neck before nibbling lightly at the curve of his shoulder.

This is only for them, Joel has said, and it sends a shiver through Spencer's spine because every time they're intimate is like going on a whole new adventure for him. They've only been having sex regularly for just over a couple weeks now but Joel has wasted no time in getting to know all of Spencer's most sensitive spots--though the other man seems to find another new one nearly every time--or figuring out just the right pace and the perfect way to grip Spencer's cock in his hand. These moments, even out here in the ocean, are just for them. They're something they'll only ever share with each other, and he smiles against Joel's skin as he trails his tongue over the hollow of Joel's throat. He gasps when a third finger enters him and it stings a bit but not in an unbearable way, it's nothing Spencer can't handle because he knows that one Joel guides his cock into his ass, he won't care about anything else.

He trusts Joel in everything, from keeping him from drowning to taking care of him when they're having sex, and he knows that trust is returned. It's why they're out here right now, naked in the ocean with three of Joel's fingers pumping in and out of Spencer as they're lifted every few seconds by the slow roll of the waves, and he lets out another moan as he tries to push himself down to get Joel's fingers even deeper. "God, I just want you to always be touching me."

There's something about the way Spencer whispers his name, something perfect, something that sends a thrill through him because no one has ever said his name like that before and he knows no one will say it that way again. It's only Spencer, it will only ever be Spencer and Joel finds himself gasping already, breathing hard just at the way Spencer's thumb sweeps over him, the press of his teeth against his skin. He wants to reach between them and take Spencer's cock in his hand, but at the moment his free hand seems to be locked around Spencer's waist, anchoring them together in the water as he pumps his fingers in and out of him slowly, his shoulders arching and flexing against the bite of Spencer's nails against his skin.

It comes as a bit of a surprise just how much he likes that. The little burst of pain brings him back, makes him more aware of everything, of how warm and tight Spencer is around his fingers, the cool waves that lap at their skin, how heavy the night feels, like it's wrapped around them, giving them all the privacy they need. He knows that last bit isn't true, that they're just as easily heard as the waves that hit the shore, but he makes no effort to quiet Spencer and his own gasps only get louder as Spencer pushes himself down, forcing Joel's fingers deeper into his body.

He's not normally prone to cursing, but Spencer's fist twists around him in just the right way and Joel's fingers are so deep inside him that it slips out, a strangled, "Fuck," that he tries to muffle against Spencer's throat. But it surprises a laugh out of him at the same time and he presses his lips to the side of Spencer's neck, his fingers twisting as he kisses a line up toward his ear. "I could close the store," he mumbles, only half-aware he's speaking at all, because he's desperate as he slowly withdraws his fingers, reaching down with that hand to find Spencer's on his cock. He fumbles briefly, but then his fingers close down around Spencer's, urging him to take control, to guide Joel into him at whatever pace he wants. "Close the store, quit my job, I could just do this full-time."

He's teasing, only half-aware of what he's even saying as he releases is hold on Spencer's hand, letting him take control. For a moment, both his hands fall to Spencer's hips and then one arm locks around him again, the other snaking between their bodies to find Spencer's cock.

Edited 2014-07-16 04:52 (UTC)

"Don't tease me like that," he says, though it's through another moan, and he's not just talking about the way Joel's fingers slip out of him before Joel wraps one arm around his waist and his other hand around his cock. He knows Joel is leaving it up to him, letting him take control in an environment Spencer doesn't feel remotely in control of, and he feels a fresh surge of affection for the man who's holding him above the gentle crash of the waves.

He's also talking, though, about what Joel says about quitting his job. He knows his boyfriend isn't being serious about closing the store but sometimes, in moments like this or when they're lying in bed together or even when Joel does something as small as smile at him from across the room, Spencer thinks that he could do the same thing. He could drop everything for this man, go anywhere Joel wants to go because he can't imagine life without him now. The mere thought of losing Joel in any way is what makes Spencer lean in for an aggressive kiss, deep and passionate and raw, as he whimpers at the sound of Joel cursing before he lifts his hips so he can settle onto Joel's cock.

"I--ah, god, I would leave the library in a second if it meant we could do this full-time," he says, and he buries his face against Joel's shoulder as he guides Joel into him. It's rougher than usual thanks to the sting of the salt water, he's still tight even though he tries to relax so he can accept Joel's length, and his entire body is trembling from how tense he is as his breaths come in shallow gasps until Joel is finally filling him entirely.

He needs to stay still for a moment and Joel seems to understand that because he only holds Spencer closer. The lapping of the waves that surround them soothes Spencer into a more relaxed state and he pulls back slightly so he can leave a trail of kisses from Joel's collarbone up to his neck until he riches his lips for something softer this time, something sweet and encouraging to let Joel know he's okay. The waves give him leverage, make it easier for him to pull himself up only to sink back down onto Joel's cock with a moan. Joel's body is the only warmth he's getting from the comparative coolness of the ocean but he can feel his body flushing from the rush of pleasure that's pulsing through him.

He rests his forehead against Joel's, eyes closed and lips parted as he keeps moving slowly but steadily, grateful that they've found somewhere so isolated because he wants them to be able to take their time. Being intimate in the ocean, under the light of the moon and stars, is something he wants to savor for as long as he can.

It's not a tease, not really, because although Joel loves his store and has no reason to close it, he also knows he'd go anywhere and do anything for Spencer. It's an easy thing to promise because he knows Spencer would never ask him to, but he knows that isn't the only reason he's able to say such things. There's never been anyone in his life like this, there's never been a single person who understands him the way Spencer does and if Spencer decided he wanted to leave Siren Cove tomorrow, Joel would go with him without question. It would make him sick with nerves, he knows, because the furthest he's gone in ten years is one town over and only for inventory and Spencer's ice cream. But for Spencer, he'd do anything.

"Oh, god, Spencer," he groans, his hands smoothing over his back under the water as he slowly sinks down onto Joel's cock. In his position, he doesn't have much control, he can't do much more but let Spencer move as he wants to, but he's perfectly happy giving that to him. For a moment all he does it hold Spencer close, feeling his body adjust, but then he's moving, then he's lifting himself up and sinking back down, and Joel's lips part as a deep shiver runs through him, so beyond turned on that he doesn't even know what to do.

He's so in love with him. The thought occurs to him again and Joel laughs softly, though it's cut off by another moan as Spencer continues to move. The waves seem to be helping, guiding, and Joel lifts one hand, burying his fingers in Spencer's hair so he can pull him in for another long kiss. He's inside Spencer in the ocean, surrounded by water, the wide open sky, everything quiet and peaceful, nothing to interrupt them at all. The sounds of the party have long since faded away and all Joel can hear is the sound of the wind and the water and their gasps and moans as Spencer slowly rides him.

"Spencer," he breathes again and it's the only thing he can think to say, he's so dizzy with desire and affection. "Spencer, god... Spencer... you..." But it really is the only word that he can manage to say and instead of saying anything more, he leans in for another kiss, his tongue parting Spencer's lips, sweeping into his mouth with a moan. At the same time he reaches between them again and takes hold of Spencer's cock, the water making it easy for his hand to glide over him.

It's maddening, the way the water keeps him from quickening his pace; but even though his body is desperate to be moving faster, harder, Spencer can't deny that taking it nice and slow like this feels unbelievably good. He squeezes his legs tighter around Joel's waist, his breath hitching with a pleasured gasp as he finds a new angle, one that allows for Joel's cock to press right up against his most sensitive of spots. It takes his breath away, he feels winded, and he's thankful again for the fact that Joel is holding him up right now because Spencer is sure that he'd be a lost cause otherwise. To be riding Joel like this, out in the open ocean with a light breeze providing a chilled thrill that provides a fine contrast for the heat of their bodies, is something he never would have thought he'd be doing.

He moans into Joel's mouth as they kiss and he can already feel himself getting close, his ass tightening around Joel's cock every time he sinks back down, letting Joel fill him over and over with his length, all along quite sure that he's going to pass out from how good Joel makes him feel. Joel keeps saying his name but Spencer can't even find it in himself to reply, just hugs Joel tightly to him as he does his best to keep in control when his boyfriend takes his cock in hand.

It's so much at once and Spencer knows that despite his efforts, he's not going to be able to last much longer. They can do this again, he reminds himself, again and again and again because Joel isn't going anywhere and neither is he. They have all sorts of new experiences to share together, new ways of making each other feel the way nobody else has been able to, and Spencer is looking forward to every single one of them because each time they have sex, he's pretty convinced that nothing can beat it; but with every night they're naked together, losing themselves in each other's touch and falling asleep with their limbs still tangled, Spencer realizes that it's only ever going to get better.

"Joel," he finally manages to whisper before his body tenses and he's whimpering, a long and low sounds that emits from further in his throat than he thought possible as he comes, spilling into Joel's hand before the water washes any sign of it away in a split second. The orgasm had been quiet, restrained thanks to the surrounding quiet of the evening, and he lets out short, shallow breaths as he drops his forehead against Joel's shoulder. He's still moving over Joel's cock, still riding his boyfriend even as his body shudders over and over from the sensation of still having Joel's length pumping into him, still pressing against that spot. He lifts his head and licks a line up Joel's neck to his earlobe, reveling in the taste of the salt on the other man's skin, content to go as long as he needs to so that he can feel Joel release inside of him.

It's so different from so much of what they've done together so far, but Joel finds he's not loving it any less. It's quiet and slow and Spencer has every last bit of control, even as Joel pumps his cock through his hand. A soft, shuddering moan escapes him when he feels Spencer's muscles tighten, when he feels his body pulled taut around his cock, and knows Spencer is coming, he can feel it in the changes in his body and it's not the same as being in bed, he can't feel Spencer spilling into his hand, but he knows at the same time that he has. It's different and Joel doesn't know if it's because of the gentle rhythm of the water or the silence around them or the dark, clear sky stretched out overhead, or maybe he's the thing that's different. Maybe it's knowing that his feelings have grown, that they've developed into something much deeper than he's ever felt before in his life.

Whatever it is, something is different, and when Spencer comes, when he whispers Joel's name like that, it's all he can do to keep himself from coming right away. His feet press down into the sand and he slips his hand off Spencer gently, both his hands moving to Spencer's hips, helping to guide him slowly and he knows he isn't going to last much longer, not with his name on Spencer's lips, not with his body tightening around his cock and Joel lets out a long, shuddering sigh as Spencer's forehead comes to a rest against his shoulder.

The feel of Spencer's tongue on his neck startles him and he groans in surprise, both his hands tightening on Spencer's hips as he tugs him down, burying himself inside of him, gasping for air at the same time. "Oh, god. Spencer." His hips jerk, pushing himself as deep inside Spencer as he possibly can before he comes, a desperate shudder coursing through him as he does and he's never had anything like this, he's never known how incredible it feels just to come inside someone he loves this much. He's on the verge of laughing as he rides the last few waves of his orgasm, this feeling, this unexplainable, impossible to define feeling nearly overwhelming him.

But it's not unexplainable, he thinks, wrapping his arms tight around Spencer, holding him close in the water. It's not impossible to define. He's in love and it makes perfect sense. He'll tell him soon, he decides, maybe not tonight, maybe not even tomorrow, but soon. He's breathing hard, his shoulders heaving, his heart beating fast, but it still feels peaceful somehow, quiet and relaxed, and he knows they can't very well stay in the water forever, but there's a part of him that wants to try anyway. That never wants to move from this very spot.

They stay that way for what feels like a peaceful eternity, arms wrapped tightly around each other and Spencer's head on Joel's shoulder and Joel still buried inside of him. The gentle breeze and way the waves make them bob in the water sends a shiver through him every so often but he can't find it in himself to let go, to want to go back to shore because right now, he's certain he's never experienced anything more perfect. He knows that every moment with Joel will surpass the last, that every time they have sex is going to be even more incredible--which is almost hard to believe but it's been true so far--and it just reminds him all over again how unbelievably fortunate he is to have found this man.

"Joel, I..." He trails off, not even sure what he'd meant to say in the first place. He's been feeling so many different things over the course of the past couple months, since Joel had walked into his life and turned everything upside down, and sometimes he still doesn't really know how to process any of them. His life had been so empty, he realizes, so void of what's keeping him so afloat now and that's Joel, it will always be Joel.

"I don't know what I'd do without you," he finishes quietly, almost shyly because it's not nearly as encompassing as he'd like it to be even though it's still the truth. He could have gone through life without ever having met Joel, as much as the very thought distresses him, but what makes his stomach actually turn is a life of being with Joel only to lose him. He can't be without this and he knows that if Joel can help it, his boyfriend won't ever give him a reason to be; but the fact remains, he'd be absolutely lost without Joel by his side.

He glances over his shoulder at the shore and lets out a little sigh. "I don't want this night to end."

"You don't have to find out," Joel responds without thinking, though even if he'd stopped and considered, he's sure he would have said the same thing. There's nothing in this world that can make him walk away from Spencer now. After the lighthouse, he'd thought that staying away might be the best way to protect Spencer, but he's too selfish for that now. He needs to be here with him and he thinks if anything like that were to happen again, it's better that he's here. Spencer is hardly someone in need of saving, but Joel knows if anything happens, if someone like Mark ever comes back into their lives, the best place for him to be is right here. Right beside Spencer.

He doesn't know what he'd do without Spencer either. To have had this and to lose it is such a daunting thought and Joel knows himself well enough to know he wouldn't get over it. He'd lock himself in his apartment, he'd run the store, but that would be the end of it. He wouldn't be the same man ever again.

Glancing toward the shore as well, Joel can just make out the shape of the rocks on the beach, and he smiles, wishing for the same thing. If there was some way for them to stay out here, to not have to return to reality, he'd more than happily take it, but as it is, he can feel himself growing soft inside of Spencer and he carefully, slowly draws his hips back, a muffled sigh escaping him as he does. "It doesn't have to end yet," he murmurs lifting one arm out of the water, brushing his fingertips against Spencer's temple, the line of his jaw. "We can go home now. By the time we get there we'll be covered in salt and sand. We should... we'd probably need to shower."

He believes that's true. With every part of him, Spencer believes it. He knows that some might say it's naive, to think that in just a month, he could say he's found his person, the one who he's willing to promise forever to, but Spencer doesn't care about what others think. Nobody else in this town has touched him the way Joel has, brushed his hair back or kissed him so gently or held him the way Joel has; nobody else has told him how amazing he is, been there to comfort him when he jolts awake in the middle of the night; nobody else had seen him that night at the lighthouse, seen him broken and crying and needy, but Joel had. Joel had seen and done and said all these things, and he's still here.

It doesn't quite compute sometimes. He couldn't have hoped for someone to complement him better, someone who'd be so willing to just lay out and read in silence with their legs tangled in bed or their fingers brushing in between page turns. It doesn't make sense that the first person he's ever so desperately wanted to be with is a man so perfect for him, the odds of that happening are so beyond slim that coming up with a percentage would be pointless. Joel is an anomaly, really, an exception that had been made by the world for Spencer for some reason he doesn't think he'll ever figure out but he'll take it. He'll take it, and he won't let it go.

He begrudgingly unhinges his legs from around Joel's waist and lets his feet hit the sand, groaning his displeasure even though Joel suggests a welcome alternative. "Shower," he repeats, giving a slight nod before running his hands down the other man's sides and letting them come to a rest on Joel's hips. "We'd be saving the environment, too, by showering together. Waste not, right?"

"Absolutely," Joel agrees with a shy smile, his hand smoothing over Spencer's back as he slowly begins to walk back toward shore. The beach is still deserted and quiet, and he doesn't think they're going to have much of a problem getting dressed again, even if they're both more than a little uncomfortable for the trip back to Spencer's. He's tired now, but he thinks by the time they get back to Spencer's house the walk and the breeze will have woken him up, but he always gets like this with Spencer. He's always perfectly content and prepared to simply curl up, to wrap himself around Spencer and to tug him close so he can sleep. It's the happiest he's ever felt.

"And the water will be much warmer, too," he adds, his smile growing a little as he glances over at Spencer, which he thinks will be welcome for both of them. The breeze has picked up a bit and now that they're coming out of the water Joel is feeling fairly cool, goosebumps rising on his wet skin. He wishes again that he'd thought to brought a towel, because they're either going to have to get dressed still wet or stand in the cool breeze until they dry.

"Okay, your decision," he says, reaching for Spencer's hand and tugging him back toward the rocks. The wind won't be as bad there, but it's not exactly going to be warm and he can already feel himself starting to shiver. "Get dressed while we're wet or wait until we're dry? I didn't bring a towel, but I also hadn't planned on the moonlight swim." No matter how cold he might be now, though, he doesn't regret a second of it.

"I'm suddenly tempted to fall asleep right here," he answers with a drowsy smile. It's conditioning, wanting to drift off with his head on Joel's chest after they've been intimate, and it's more than obvious now as he grips his boyfriend's hand loosely as he follows him back to the rocks. He'd like to be spread out on the TempurPedic right now with the sheets draped over their hips and trying to blink away sleep for as long as he can, for as long as Joel's still awake and reading or just barely focusing on the television or simply gazing back at him.

Then again, being anywhere that Joel is has been good enough for him, and he doesn't foresee that changing. They could lie down on the sand, tangled in each other and thinking nothing of what might happen when the moon disappears and the sun rises. They could do these things, Spencer thinks, and it would be fine because they'd be doing it together.

It's the sudden chill of the breeze that seems to have cooled even more since they'd stepped into the water that convinces him that in spite of his willingness to close his eyes and keep them closed until morning, they really ought to head back home. The shower's warm there, like Joel says, and he's already reaching for his clothes before he starts to answer the question. "The sooner we get back, the better," he says, grateful that he'd worn a sweater tonight as he pulls it back out, though it's not without a shiver. He's still cold, his teeth chatter every so often and he has to wrap his arms around himself as he leans over to pull on his briefs, but he knows what's waiting for him back home and it gives him the push he needs.

"Actually, scratch that. The sooner I can get you naked again and in the bath, the better."

Getting into wet clothes is always uncomfortable, but Joel dresses as quickly as he can, wiping the sand from his feet before he steps back into his shoes. No matter how cold and uncomfortable he is now, though, he doesn't regret a moment of this evening and he smiles over at Spencer once he's shrugged back into his cardigan, glad that he's taken to keeping extra clothes at Spencer's, if only so he doesn't have to walk home tomorrow morning in wet, sandy, rumpled clothes. And yet, no matter how uncomfortable he might be, he'd happily do it just to be able to spend another night wrapped up with Spencer, waking up with their legs tangled, with Spencer's breath on his shoulder. The fact that he can open his eyes on the morning and simply turn over and run his fingers through Spencer's hair still sometimes seems so surreal to him, as if it shouldn't be possible. As if he doesn't deserve such a thing.

Joel smiles, running one hand through his damp hair before he reaches for Spencer's hand. The idea of going back to Spencer's house and running a warm shower or bath for the two of them sounds especially appealing after how cool the ocean water was and he loops one arm around Spencer's waist, tugging him away from the rocks again so they can head back. "Too bad my sister is at my apartment. because the tub in my bathroom..." He trails off and shakes his head, still smiling. He's not much of one for luxuries like baths or anything most people consider especially relaxing, but he's always enjoys his tub in particular. It's deep and long and he can actually stretch out in it.

"You'd fit," he says, looking Spencer up and down, as if he's only just noticed how tall his boyfriend is. He tucks himself closer to Spencer's body, leaning against him as they walk. "You would definitely fit. I don't think most baths are made for anyone much taller than five feet, but the one in my apartment is huge. That and my balcony are my favourite things about that place." And his books. The fact that it's quiet and private. That it's his. He's not attached to it, really, in the same way he doesn't often get attached to material things, but it's the only place that's been completely his and he loves it for that alone.

Edited 2014-07-20 20:24 (UTC)

His house isn't all too far from the beach, something he's suddenly so grateful for as he struggles to pull his pants back up his legs and shivers even after he pulls his sweater over his head. His teeth keep chattering and it's a little embarrassing that he's lived here practically his entire life and manages to be cold in the considerable warmth of the summer evenings. He's never been especially good at dealing with the cold, though, and the thought strikes him that come this winter, he'll have Joel beside him to keep him warm at night. He ducks his head to hide his smile before taking Joel's hands, cheeks flushing just slightly because it's such a small thing but knowing it to be true means the world to him.

He's never been able to look at someone and know that they have a definite place in his life, in his future, but whenever Spencer thinks about it now, Joel is always there. Joel's a permanent fixture, as far as Spencer is concerned, and it actually makes his heart flutter in his chest to briefly let himself consider what it would be like--what it will be like, he's sure of it--when he and Joel decide to take the next step, then the next and next until they're happily settled down together in the way Spencer never would have pictured for himself.

He presses a kiss to Joel's neck, welcoming the closeness with which they walk in stride together and letting himself forget the goosebumps that haven't quite gone away yet because the breeze keeps hitting him just so. He can't hide his smile this time when Joel says he'd fit, mostly because that seems to apply to everything between the two of them. The way their hands interlock, the way Joel slides so much more easily inside of him every time they're intimate, the way Spencer has just the right amount of space when he rests his head on Joel's shoulder--all of it just seems to prove that this couldn't be any other way, there couldn't be anyone else who'd be as perfect a match.

"Can't you just bring it with you to my place?" he asks, tone lightly teasing. "I'm sure your sister wouldn't mind losing the bath, just until we can make good use of it." He actually quite likes being in Joel's apartment, there's a warmth about it and it feels lived-in and familiar, though he suspects all of that is due to it belonging to Joel. Anywhere Joel is seems to feel like the right place to be as of late. "The next time Charlotte's out, we'll have to sneak in. The promise of anything that actually fits me is too good to pass up."

"I'll just stop by and carry it on my shoulders," Joel agrees with a laugh and although he knows he can't carry it by himself, the idea of installing something like that in Spencer's house, if that's something he wants, is a thing he's capable of. He's no good with his car and the fact that it still runs is something of a surprise most of the time, but he's always been good at repairs around the home. He's had to be, given how rarely his landlord actually does anything for the store. Over the years he's taught himself plumbing and wiring, he knows how to frame, drywall and tape a wall, he knows how to patch the foundation of his basement, though not all that well, given how much it flooded recently.

But he can do these things for Spencer, he realizes, if Spencer will let him. And it's not that he doesn't think Spencer is capable of doing things on his own, but he likes the idea of being able to help in that way. It seems more useful to do it for someone he loves this much than to just do it for himself.

"She's only here for another week before they go back home," he points out with a little smile. Whether or not she decides on moving back permanently still isn't something she's brought up, but Joel is waiting for the conversation, waiting for her to bring it up and ask him to talk to their parents for her. The truth is, he's both nervous and excited about the idea of having her close again. "Then we'll be able to use my place again as much as we want."

He shrugs a little after he's said it, squinting slightly in the dark. "I like being at your place, though, don't get me wrong. I- I like spending the night there. I think... I'd like being anywhere, so long as you're there."

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